Dating expert shares tips to find your perfect match

This time of year gets most of us thinking of love. Forty-four percent of adults are single. So how do you find your perfect match?
February 12, 2014 12:00:00 AM PST
This time of year gets most of us thinking of love. Forty-four percent of adults are single. And if you're a guy, finding that special someone is in your favor - there are 86 unmarried men for every one hundred women in the U.S.

So how do you find your perfect match?

Lauren West is young, smart, and attractive but says she struggles finding the "one" even though she goes on date, after date, after date.

"You want to find someone that you want to be able to spend time with, like have someone there for you, and someone that can like support you in a number of different ways," said West.

Like West, Ellen Morrow says her endless dates usually turned to disappointment.

"I just met people and went out on dates even if they weren't perfect or specific to what I was looking for," said Morrow.

Dating expert Stef Safran says that's the problem with serial dating.

"I think that there's too much focus that there's so much available for you as opposed to finding those, you know, basic criteria when you start that are important to you," said Safran.

She says before starting to date you should answer these 10 questions about yourself: Are you willing to commit? What are your financial values? Is religion important? Do you want children? Where do you want to live? How do you handle conflict? Are you able to care for someone? Do you like to go out or are you a homebody? Do you lead an active or sedentary lifestyle? Are you willing to try new things?

"You have to know: are you looking for a relationship and what does that mean to you?" said Safran.

Safran says whether you meet someone in person or online, it's important to find out beforehand or on a first date if they have similar values, if not, don't waste your time.

"People need to understand that when they are dating when people give you they do give you information and if someone says something that you can really tell is a deal breaker you need to listen to that," she said.

Safran says too many women waste time thinking they can change someone. Thanks to her advice, Morrow is in a committed relationship and while West is still looking, she's stopped serial dating and only spends time with guys she thinks are compatible.

Safran says while using the checklist is key, it's important to note the "80/20" rule. If eight out of the 10 items are a match, chances are you may have found the "one."

And by the way, skip the bar. Match.com says less than 10 percent of people find a long-term relationship there.


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