Jarred Dubois talks about a fatal mistake

FRESNO, Calif.

/*Emily Lavender*/ was killed by that gunshot to the chest. Her stepfather - Jarred Dubois - is now facing criminal charges for not properly storing the weapon.

Jarred Dubois says the accidental death of little Emily has devastated his family. Dubois says he alone is responsible and is haunted by his mistake, and now the questions his two-year-old asks him all the time.

These days for /*Jarred Dubois*/ just getting out of bed is a major victory.

"Some days I wake up, and what's the point? My life has completely changed," said Jarred Dubois. "I've lost a daughter and I've lost a hobby and I've lost so much right now, I just don't know what to do or where to go."

For the first time since that awful May morning, Dubois is speaking out about what happened in inside his Northeast Fresno home. Dubois' two-year-old son Austin grabbed one of the 53 guns in the house. Most, but not all were locked up.

Jarred Dubois said, "Obviously Austin is only two, I didn't think he was capable of doing anything like this. I really didn't"

Dubois is facing felony charges of first degree criminal storage of a firearm. But no charge can compare the punishment he feels every single day.

Sontaya asks: "Do you blame yourself?"

Jarred replied: "Completely and totally, it is my fault. I should have taken more precautions."

Emily's absence has shaken his family to its core. Four of the children were home and witnessed the horrific accident. Although Austin isn't old enough to comprehend what's happened, he misses his big sister terribly.

"He knows that something's wrong, I don't think he grasps the whole thing. He may never get it," said Jarred Dubois. "He just knows that his best friend isn't there anymore."

Emily's four siblings are all going through counseling and Dubois is just trying to survive. He holds onto all the good times and especially Emily's love of the outdoors.

"I wake up every day hurting and I go to bed every night hurting. To me, you couldn't do anything worst," said Jarred Dubois. "There's nothing that anyone on this planet could do to hurt me more, than what I have done to hurt myself."

Jarred Dubois knows he will never get Emily back but he also knows he won't begin to heal unless he does something to make sure no other parent ever has to go through what he and his family now endures everyday.

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