Those words were recorded by an alleged victim -- who was his former foster daughter. /*Willie Green*/ is on trial for inappropriate sexual contact with the girl.
The alleged victim has already taken the stand, and the defense is trying to cast doubt on her stories and her credibility. But Thursday, the jury heard Green's own words on a call he didn't know was being taped.
Green stared down at the table in front of him as his life possibly unraveled. But in a March 2011 phone conversation played by prosecutor Gabriel Brickey, Green seemed to already know it was coming.
"This, if it gets out, I'm done," he said in the recorded phone call. "I'll lose everything."
Green was talking to his former foster daughter, a 13-year-old girl who accused him of having sexual relations with her several times in the five months she lived in his home. She walked into court Wednesday and told her story, but court insiders believe the jury will put more weight in what they hear from Green himself.
"What happened has truly, truly messed up both of our lives because of the simple fact it should've never happened," he said in the call.
Green never directly admitted to specific acts -- but he never denied them either -- and he expressed guilt repeatedly, saying he had betrayed the very reason he became a foster father.
"There's times when I thought about, and this is the honest God's truth, about killing myself because of the simple fact that that's how bad I felt," he said.
Green asked the teenager for forgiveness, and hoped to keep their secret.
"I will die if it got out," he said.
"If what got out?" the girl asked.
"If you told someone," he responded.
She had already told the police. They recorded the call, and later the same day, they arrested Green.
Green was not only a foster father to seven kids, but also coached high school sports and was a teacher's aide for Fresno Unified. He's on unpaid, involuntary leave pending the outcome of this trial.